Durango Bill's Jason Gastrich’s “ Résumé (Resume) ” The Tongue-in-Cheek version

While Jason Gastrich has his own standard version of his résumé (resume), the following “tongue-in-cheek” version is perhaps a better representation – especially as it represents Jason’s activities and postings in the various newsgroups within Google Groups.

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Jason Gastrich’s “ Résumé  ” (Resume) alternately The Ten Commandments according to Jason Gastrich A condensed version of Jason’s résumé (resume) (with translations) by “One of the sheep who has gone astray”

1) Stands before God (Stands in front of a mirror)     Amen 2) Talks to God (Makes audio tapes and then listens to them)     Amen 3) Over 70,000 web pages (Collects Spam – also pretty good at generating it)     (See Mental Illnesses – Compulsive Hoarding)     Amen 4) Awesome education (See Diploma Mills – also see: Fraud)     Amen 5) Mathematical genius     (Proves that the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter is actually 3.00 instead of PI().     See http://www.gastrich.org)     Amen 6) Physics genius (Declares that gravity causes rivers to flow uphill)     (See “It flows uphill” http://www.durangobill.com/Jason_Gastrich.html)     Amen 7) Zoology genius (Discovers that bats have feathers)     See “"Dr" Jason Gastrich Vindicated As Bats With Feathers Found!” discussion in Google Groups (free.christians)     Amen 8) Financial Advisor     “I think it is more important to tithe than pay credit card bills.” See several discussions in Google Groups.     (Also see Chapter 7 – U. S. bankruptcy code)     Amen 9)  Experienced cat veterinarian (Reads Garfield – also see “My Cat Has a Problem” discussion in Google Groups.)     Amen 10) Says prayers for everyone.     (Well not quite everyone. Since Jason is convinced he is God, he doesn’t have to say one for himself.)     Amen Disclaimer: Jason Gastrich was a registered “write-in” candidate in the 2003 California Recall Election. Even though California voters considered “Adult Film Actress” Mary Cook to be more highly qualified than Mr. Gastrich by a factor in excess of 1,000 to 1, Jason did receive 11 votes. He is thus “a figure of legitimate public interest” which gives me a legal right to post this parody. (Source for election results is: http://www.wikisearch.net/en/wikipedia/r/re/results_of_the_2003_california_recall.html) Permission is granted to everyone to freely copy this web page. Return to the main Jason Gastrich page